Mayflys are a winged insect that have a short lifespan. They mate in such a way that all of them mature in the exact same time. The will die out soon, but for the time being Wisconsin looks like something straight out of a horror movie.
Would literally not
thank god I got rid of the delusion that music is a hierarchy and realized that it’s a beautiful jungle gym
On that note, thank god I got rid of the delusion that gender is a beautiful jungle gym and realized that it’s a hierarchy
this is my favourite i cannot pu t it into words poor ian
Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink.
Me: What black pen?
Client: The one that was lying on your tablet.
Me: You threw out my $150 Wacom pen?
Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out of ink.
this almost made me cry
this is simultaenously the best and worst submission i’ve ever seen from Clients from Hell.
I feel ill
at a restaurant while u high like
"can i order this"
"would you like a soup or a salad?"
"WHATS A SUPER SALAD"
my ex and i went to ihop while spacefucked out of our minds bc i had a giftcard and i
i definitely ordered a cheddar montery jack pepper jack mozzarella omelette and then i asked for extra cheese and the waitress was like
"…are you sure?"
and she said it with such conviction that i didn’t want it that it shattered my confidence and the foundations of my identity so much that i just stared blankly for probably 20 seconds while making noises before eventually going “…no, no extra cheese for me”
and then we got a bunch of eggnog pancakes and the waitress switched off bc we were too difficult to deal with apparently oops
god that food was good
i dont understand how i can get so much joy from covering my pets with blankets and watching the lump move around
Three years later, a new girl sits cross-legged on your bed.
She tastes like a different flavor of bubblegum than you are used to.
She opens up a book that you had to read in high school, and a folded picture of us falls out of chapter three.
Now there are two unfinished stories resting in her lap.
Inevitably, she asks, and you tell her.
You say: I dated her a while back.
You don’t say: Sometimes, when I’m holding you, I imagine the smell of her vanilla perfume.
You say: She was younger than me.
You don’t say: The sixteen summers in her bones warmed the eighteen winters my skin had weathered.
You say: It’s nothing now.
You don’t say: But it was everything then.
|—||Some things are better left unsaid. (via fawun)|
yo fuck samsung users with the weird whistle text tone if I hear that one more time I’m going to drop kick your android into a lake
why do people make viruses like why do you have to be an asshole