i like people.
i thought this fact was going to ruin my life when i was younger
it turns out i didn’t like myself very much, and that absolutely did ruin my life several years.
i love learning about persons, listening to them talk, seeing their eyes light up. the way someone so attuned to the superficial can finally break down some of their guard and be honest with someone without fear of being snubbed or ignored
and the fresh perspectives it gives me are honestly what gets me through the rough spots of depression and other bullshit going on in my minefield of a mind
people just want to be appreciated.
recovery and change are concepts too big for such small notions as “hard” and “tough” and “difficult” and “always” and “never”
either somebody understands or they don’t. some divides cannot be overcome no matter how many honest words you try and use to cross them
but i feel better about life today, and that’s nice.
Animorphs was always a war story. Wars don’t end happily. Not ever. Often relationships that were central during war, dissolve during peace. Some people who were brave and fearless in war are unable to handle peace, feel disconnected and confused. Other times people in war make the move to peace very easily.
Always people die in wars. And always people are left shattered by the loss of loved ones.
That’s what happens, so that’s what I wrote.
Jake and Cassie were in love during the war, and end up going their seperate ways afterward. Jake, who was so brave and capable during the war is adrift during the peace. Marco and Ax, on the other hand, move easily past the war and even manage to use their experience to good effect. Rachel dies, and Tobias will never get over it. That doesn’t by any means cover everything that happens in a war, but it’s a start.
Here’s what doesn’t happen in war: there are no wondrous, climactic battles that leave the good guys standing tall and the bad guys lying in the dirt. Life isn’t a World Wrestling Federation Smackdown. Even the people who win a war, who survive and come out the other side with the conviction that they have done something brave and necessary, don’t do a lot of celebrating. There’s very little chanting of ‘we’re number one’ among people who’ve personally experienced war.
I’m just a writer, and my main goal was always to entertain. But I’ve never let Animorphs turn into just another painless video game version of war, and I wasn’t going to do it at the end. I’ve spent 60 books telling a strange, fanciful war story, sometimes very seriously, sometimes more tongue-in-cheek. I’ve written a lot of action and a lot of humor and a lot of sheer nonsense. But I have also, again and again, challenged readers to think about what they were reading. To think about the right and wrong, not just the who-beat-who. And to tell you the truth I’m a little shocked that so many readers seemed to believe I’d wrap it all up with a lot of high-fiving and backslapping. Wars very often end, sad to say, just as ours did: with a nearly seamless transition to another war.
scheduling posts for october because god fucking damn it i love autumn and because i can
open mics, man
music is where i wanna be